Last post till after move!

Well the move got pushed forward again, but it's a good thing, because we're not even done getting the place clean before heading out.

I feel kind of bad, because I told everyone I'd be moving today, but then plans changed. We still have some junk lying around, the walls are dirty, etc. so there's still work to be done. (Edited for clarity :P) But I COULD be around, since Jon is doing most of the heavy work due to me being a worthless loser. I even got on PSU yesterday cause I really, really wanted to try Max Attack G part 2 while we took a break from stuff. Just a couple hours, but still. :/

I feel my life is a waste unless I'm around for people or doing things for people. Maybe people need me around and I'm just flaking out. Like, am I going to come back online at the new place and realize people are upset at me because I could've been around on Fri or part of Sat but I wasn't?

The other thing on my mind right now is about Kalli.

I tried calling Kalli like... four times (yesterday and today). n.n and she isn't answering. Her message says she's either busy or at work. She said to me she always keeps it on her, and I told her I'd call on Fri. But ...nothing. I dunno if I'm calling too early or too late or if her phone isn't working or what. x.x

I have to say, I dislike phone conversations in the first place. I was talking to Jon about this earlier. There's probably only like... two people I feel comfortable talking to with voice for extended periods of time. Those two being Jon and my sister. That's pretty much it.

So every time I've tried calling has been this huge stressor and worry for me. And I keep wondering... is she just that busy? Did she get work like the message says? Is she ok? Did she just meet other friends and not want to talk to me any more? I have no idea. I always get all freaked out and weird when faced with uncertain situations. :/

I mean maybe it's a good thing and she just wants to surprise me by being online early when she gets her paycheck. Or maybe she ended up not moving and didn't want to tell me that. I mean, there's so many things I could imagine it's about. I'm just driving myself nuts thinking of theories!

I don't even know if I'd be half as interesting talking to her on the phone anyway. o.o So maybe it's a good thing we don't talk on the phone. But then maybe we'll never talk, for a very long time. Sure, we're friends and have stayed so for this long, but we also went through something like 3 years hardly talking at all. Is this going to be another years long hiatus? I really don't know.

I'm thinking I'm just going to go with trying to call every week, instead. I don't want to be all trying every day and being a nuisance. I'll just alter which day of the week I try, maybe... Try different times. She did say I could try calling "any time" :/ which probably makes it more stressful because then I have to guess.

I do have something like 495 minutes left on two call cards, anyway. So it won't be a big deal, money-wise. It's more like my nerves that are suffering. I do have her new address, fortunately, and I wrote it down, so I think I'll try and mail her something if the calling just doesn't work. A letter, maybe that postcard I meant to send from Montreal before.

Anyway... that's that about Kalli news. Jon said that I may have 'net back by Wednesday-ish, but to be honest, I'm not sure I will be back in full force until that weekend. August 8th or 9th or something. I'm just so worn out and stressed out that I'm just going to need a few days to myself so that my stress symptoms go down (both physical and emotional). =_= And I'd like some time to actually spend on writing Emberdays stuff so I can feel ready for it next time. (I said next game would be 11th or the 15th. Maybe I'll go with the later date, just to be safe? :x)

Oh, speaking of writing, though, I've actually been doing some planning with the Anthegenian. Not much, but it's shaping up: the interweaving of characters and storylines over time. Getting the right mix of sci-fi and fantasy, characterization and worldbuilding. Figuring out the origins of Anthegenia, the people of Eskarne, the Ytherians and the Zundeen. There's so much material! And I wonder whether I'm fooling myself about actually writing this 7-8 book cycle out and publishing it, of all things. :P But who knows, I may just end up writing it for myself and never publishing at all.

Well, at least I know I'll have a lot to keep me preoccupied. I'll be back in a week at the latest. (Unless I sneak onto PSU: MAG again tonight, I dunno! I heard it's 3 weeks long though, so I won't miss too much.)